Monogamy, where they do that at? How many of us know someone that has been or is currently in an open relationship? How many of us have been or is currently in an open relationship? For some, monogamy is just a fleeting thought.
My friends and I have had many conversations about open relationships and it almost seems as if it is “trending”. In a recent article that I read, a third of gay men are in open relationships. According to Baume (2021), in a poll of 517 gay men conducted in December, the San Francisco-based Gay Therapy Center found that 30 percent were not strictly monogamous with their partners.
So, it begs the question, are open relationships the new monogamy? For some, that is the way to go. Many gay men are opening up their relationships to outside suitors for reasons such as keeping their sex life spicy or they just don’t believe in monogamy.
Now, though some may feel that these relationships are doomed from jump, which is not always the case. Many open relationships work, but it requires mutual guidelines to be put in place. After reading a few articles on this topic, many men have told their primary partner about their other sexual contacts while some have maintained the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. As the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy was not fondly thought of in the military, the same applies here. This opens the door for all types of dishonesty which sets the relationship on a course of destruction.
In open relationships, it is imperative that both individuals mutually agree upon guidelines and maintain honest communication. Both parties have to be comfortable with having difficult conversations as it relates to exploring their sexual proclivities with other men. When communicating with each other, partners must listen to each other and stick to the established guidelines but also understand that these guidelines may need to be renegotiated at different points throughout the relationship. Also, in communicating with your primary long-term partner, remember to tell each other how much you love one another, appreciate one another, and how committed you are to them and the relationship. And lastly but most importantly, both of you have must absolutely agree to have an open relationship.
In conclusion, if you are one that has been interested in having an open relationship, I hope this article has given some foundation in how to approach that conversation. But for the rest of us, monogaME!
Written by Chicquan Cannon
Southern Cooper 