5 Ways to Break an Unhealthy Thought Process
Stop Overthinking
According to the National Science Foundation research, the average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Out of those thoughts, 80% are considered negative, and 95% are repetitive. With a cycle of negative thoughts playing in your head over and over, how can you/we overcome and focus on positive thoughts? It is a more complex issue to retrain our minds to ignore those negative thoughts.
More often than not, overthinking can lead to a spiral of negative thoughts. You hear others say, “just stay positive”; however, some of us walk through life not understanding the how or the why? One way to stop overthinking and negative thoughts are to seek a treatment plan involving cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT).
The core principles of CBT include:
- Psychological problems are based, in part, on faulty or unhelpful ways of thinking.
- Psychological problems are based, in part, on learned patterns of unhelpful behavior.
- People suffering from psychological problems can learn better ways of coping with them, thereby relieving their symptoms and becoming more effective in their lives.
*taken from American Psychological Association
Be Kind to YOURSELF
Every day I start my day with I AM affirmations; this is a simple method of bringing intention for the day, self-reflection, and positive affirmations. I AM wasn’t a habit of mine, so I had to retrain my thought process and make this an everyday routine. Carving out some time for these affirmations brings peace, and you start your day in a positive mindset.
As you start your day, acknowledge all of the good things you offer to yourself, family, work, and the environment. Recognize your talents and display them abundantly. You are the master of your peace, so don’t let anyone take that away from you. Remember, you should be your biggest fan!
In life, we are so focused on gaining more money, more education, landing that new job, And being Perfect. Sorry to tell you, perfection should not be your goal. Alternatively, being your best self, checking your work for errors, focusing on your goals, and giving 100% should be your goals. If you don’t accomplish something or didn’t do it perfectly, there is always tomorrow, or editing/redesigning is your friend.
*In another blog post, I will elaborate on how I start my day and possibly video myself during my routine.
Allow yourself some GRACE.
In addition to being kind to yourself, find room to allow grace and breathing room. Giving grace to yourself is permission to forgive your mistakes, lapses in judgment, and hurtful behavior. Life happens; you will not be your best self every day. However, how you respond to yourself will determine your mood, perception of self, and the energy you emit. (Nobody want NOOOO funky energy 😊) The stressors of the coronavirus pandemic lead many people to feel overwhelmed, overworked, zoom fatigued, frustrated, and downright tired. Sometimes you just have to say, “I am taking a break from everything, except myself.” It is ok to say that out loud and from the bottom of your soul.
Remember: Grace gives you the time and space you need to survive through these challenging times. Repeat after me, “I AM ENOUGH.”
Yoga Works Wonders- YWW
I started my yoga journey about 5 years ago, but I am glad that I was open to a new possibility of trying a new training regime. Yoga trains your body, mind, and spirit. Before coronavirus (RONA for short), I attended classes at LA fitness at least three times a week. These classes helped me overcome some mental and negative thinking issues that were floating in my head. At first, these classes were challenging, and the movements challenged my 6’3 200 plus frame. I couldn’t contort my body to a split or even touch my toes (and proudly I say, I still can’t). Don’t’ worry; the practice of yoga is a marathon and not a sprint to the finish line. You own your space and pace; as long as you come committed to yourself only, you can achieve your yoga goals. Currently, LA fitness has started allowing yoga classes again, and so far, I have attended them for two weeks. Although I am rusty, I am enjoying this new journey back to becoming a full-fledge YOGI!!!
If you are still hesitant about trying yoga, check out Mysore Yoga Teacher Training Institute (Samyak Yoga). This channel covers all things related to yoga and the different Yoga styles (Hatha, Vinyasa, Samyak, Ashtanga). Try 5-10 minutes a day to start.
According to John Hopkins Medicine, they state that “yoga offers physical and mental health benefits for people of all ages.” They listed their top 9 Benefits of Yoga; review below.
9 Benefits of Yoga- John Hopkins Medicine
- Yoga improves strength, balance, and flexibility
- Yoga helps with back pain relief- (Lord knows I have back issues)
- Yoga benefits heart health
- Yoga relaxes you, to help you sleep better
- Yoga can mean more energy and brighter moods
- Yoga helps you manage stress
- Yoga connects you with a supportive community
- Yoga promotes better self-care (who doesn’t need that)
Meditation is for YOU
Meditation is an extension of Yoga, which uses breathe work and calming your mind. As a black gay man, I still deal with my childhood traumas, from being ostracized, self-doubt, and neglecting my feelings. I found meditation when I didn’t have any money for a therapist, but I needed an outlet to heal and become my best self. I had to tell myself repeatedly; I am worthy and capable of being loved, finding love, and loving myself wholly. If you are still dealing with those same traumas or have something holding you back, try meditation.
As practicing meditation has become more visible, it is still rare for African Americans, especially black men, to meditate. How can we change the perception? Well, we mobilize and educate ourselves more about the practice. I found this great book on Amazon: Free Your Mind: An African American Guide to Meditation and Freedom. If you read the book, feel free to leave a comment or email southernblackgaygents@gmail.com.
Through my journey of practicing meditation, I found at least 5 benefits that I have improved my mind, body, and spirit.
- Reduction of stress
- Improved my positive thinking
- Increased self-awareness
- Developed new skills on how I reacted in stressful situations
- Increased my creativity
Check out-
Affirmation for Black Men- Good for Morning Meditation, Confidence, and Self Care
Journey into Positivity- Black Male Voice Guided Meditation for Self
Southern Cooper 